Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Valentine's Day Grievances



Every year as Valentine's Day looms closer and closer, you begin seeing the posts on social media. People who finally determined it was unlikely enough for them to have a Valentine's Day date, that they become brave enough to let the world know how much they loathe the day.

It’s hilarious to me how much it bothers some people when I say that I hate Valentine’s Day. Almost without fail, if I make a comment about hating it, I begin receiving two types of messages. The first type, are the angry and hateful messages, calling me an “arrogant asshole” because I won’t let them enjoy their “special day” with their special someone.

The second type are the women who feel the need to send me messages, just letting me know that they aren't like all the other women out there who are obsessed with the day (yes, you are). And they don't expect their man to spend anything on them (yes, you do). In fact, all they care about is spending time with the love of their life (you lying bitches!).

I am doing nothing to keep you and your sugar daddy from enjoying yourselves. You have every right to enjoy Valentine’s Day, just like I have every right to hate it. My hatred of this holiday (I use the
term loosely) has nothing to do with the fact that I’m single, or that I’ve been screwed over in the past. Even though I have been stood up, cheated on, and broken up with on Valentine’s Day, this has no bearing on the animosity I feel toward this fake holiday and the people who celebrate it. My hatred of this day is solely because what began as a day to show your appreciation and love toward your significant other, has been completely over-commercialized now, and quite frankly, is stupid.

Valentine’s Day was once just an opportunity to let your significant other know how much they meant to you. Now, every time I turn on the TV or radio, I'm confronted with commercials for jewelry stores, florists, and lingerie companies, telling me what I need to buy to prove my love to my “special someone”. It makes me miss the simple days when I was young, and all I had to do was give a card to that special girl I kinda liked. Now that I’m no longer a child, I have Zales telling me that a card is no longer enough. Apparently now, it requires a $1,200 diamond necklace to prove my love.

In fact, a recent study conducted by Groupon, found that the bare minimum amount a woman expected her man to spend for Valentine's Day was $179! Meanwhile the same study found that the minimum amount men expected women to spend on them was $74. A more reasonable number, yes. But, I can not think of a single time a girl I was dating spent anywhere close to $74 on me, for anything, much less Valentine's day.

Ladies; I know you all probably think I’m a dick for expressing my hatred for this special day you look forward to all year, but here’s a news flash. No guy likes Valentine’s Day. Now I know you’re thinking “not my guy, he loves Valentine’s day”, but you’re wrong. I’ll wait here while you go ask him...

(GENERIC ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING) 

Okay, now I’m sure your special guy had some sweet line for you about how he’s different from other guys, or how he loves Valentine’s Day because he loves you (how original). Please pay close attention here: HE IS LYING. This is called “saying what you want to hear”, and guys do it all the time. We do this when we know that saying what we really think, would get us in trouble.

When Valentine’s Day is coming up, every guy with a wife, girlfriend, fiancé, or sex buddy knows they have two options. They can ignore the day, and act like they do every other day. Or they can buy you a card (don’t forget the sentimental note inside), a piece of jewelry, some candy or flowers, and take you out to dinner. Now we all know that if you plan on still having this same wife, girlfriend, fiancé, or sex buddy on February 15th, you damn well better choose option two.

Now ladies, if you are still reading at this point, please understand; I’m not saying that guys only give you gifts and take you out on Valentine’s Day to keep from pissing you off. They also do it because they want to have sex with you.

Highly paid marketing executives have indoctrinated us to the point where we all know this gift-giving is a requirement of being in a relationship. And because we love, like, or lust after you, we will join men everywhere in celebrating this day with you. Even though we think the day could be commemorated equally as well just by spending time with you, we will go out and buy you all of the stereotypical gifts, because that is what we are expected to do. We know that the next day, you will talk to your girlfriends, and compare notes on what your significant other gave you. We know it's important to you to be able to tell your friends about receiving these gifts, because if our gifts aren’t “up to par” with what your friends received, it will subject both of us to unnecessary ridicule.

In closing, I would like to give a few recommendations.

Ladies: Valentine’s Day is YOUR day. We celebrate it for you, and no sane person who has seen a
jewelry commercial within a month of February 14th would ever call it a guy’s holiday. Since your man will undoubtedly go to great lengths to make sure your Valentine’s Day is memorable, don’t just buy him a gift and call it even. Choose a random day and do something special for him. Make this random day all about him, the same way Valentine’s Day is all about you.

Guys: Try giving your girl something that is not a stereotypical Valentine’s gift. Just a hint; if you saw a Valentine’s Day commercial for this item, don't buy it. If you're a creative person (which I am not), try making her something. Frame your favorite picture of the two of you together. If you are ashamed by your lack of artistic abilities, buy her tickets for the two of you to go do something together.

My entire point behind this article is this; Valentine’s Day has become stereotypical and mundane. If you enjoy this materialistic holiday, great. If you hate it, that’s fine too, and I’m right there with you. But regardless of how you feel, don’t just do what you are expected to do, in hopes of appeasing your significant other until the next major holiday. Do something to make it special and personalize it. And for the love of God and all that is holy, women, get ready to celebrate with the same enthusiasm on March 14th!

2 comments:

  1. Brutal honest :) as per usual. I'm assuming, just a little bit, as I'm not a guy and therefore I cannot vouch for what guys actually think of Valentine's Day. But if it makes you feel better, there are those .5% of us who, as a couple, do not celebrate Valentine's Day at all. Ok, I lied a little: I dressed Doll in red clothes to mark the occasion. Hubby and I do not so much as say the word "Valentine's" to each other. Now, to be fair, I would like to get flowers or chocolate. But I would like that any day of the year (chocoholic). However I do not expect Hubby to get anything for me, nor do I entertain the notion of getting anything for him. The day passes without any acknowledgement at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Valentine's day is another highly commercialized day for businesses to sell over-priced goods or set menus. Not a fan of V'day.

    ReplyDelete

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