Saturday, June 17, 2017

My Rights As A Father, Do Not Care About Your Feelings

My Rights As A Father Do Not Care About Your Feelings / Diabolical Rantings of a Single Dad / www.diabolicalrantings.com

Yesterday morning, the Friday before Father's Day, I joined men and women across the country in standing for parental equality and fathers' rights at the fourth annual Fatherless Day Equal Parenting Rally. I stood at the state Capitol in Austin, TX with 50+ people; both men and women who are sick of the injustices of the American "family court" system. People who are sick of seeing Fathers treated like second-class citizens, or ATM's.

I spoke to men who have not been "allowed" to see their children in years, despite paying child support and doing everything the court system required. Because while police and the court system will enforce a child support order by threatening jail time and suspension of his drivers license, a mother can refuse to allow her child's Father access to his child during his court-ordered parenting time and the police will refuse to help.

My Rights As A Father Do Not Care About Your Feelings / Diabolical Rantings of a Single Dad / www.diabolicalrantings.com

Rather than enforcing the legally-binding court order, which instructs law enforcement to “make reasonable effort” to enforce the words on the page, most officers will tell the dad that it is a civil matter and to hire a lawyer and take her to court. This might seem like reasonable advice, until you consider that most of these dads are already paying an exorbitant amount of child support to that mother who is denying access.

My Rights As A Father Do Not Care About Your Feelings / Diabolical Rantings of a Single Dad / www.diabolicalrantings.com

Many of these dads are barely able to scrape together enough money to pay the bills and put food on the table after their child support is garnished from their paycheck. In fact, I know some grown men who even had to move back in with their parents because of their excessive child support order. So then, how is that dad expected to come up with a $2,000 - $5,000 retainer for an attorney?

This is unacceptable.

This Father's Day, while you are spending time with your Dad and your children, think of the fathers who are not given this luxury. Fathers who despite having a good job, live in poverty due to the amount of child support they are required to pay. Fathers who go to court, or call the police and are told to just "shut up, pay your child support and be happy that your ex occasionally 'allows' you to see your child."

My Rights As A Father Do Not Care About Your Feelings / Diabolical Rantings of a Single Dad / www.diabolicalrantings.com

You might think this doesn't affect you, but the truth is, it does. It affects every one of you who ever has children. It affects your children and your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your neighbors, your friends, and your friends' friends. So you see me standing up for parental equality and fathers' rights, and you label me as just another guy who is pissed off about paying child support. You label me as just another guy who is only concerned with trying to improve my situation and my standard of living. Well you are 100% wrong.

My Rights As A Father Do Not Care About Your Feelings / Diabolical Rantings of a Single Dad / www.diabolicalrantings.com

My daughter is five years old and my custody battle is over. I was awarded 50/50 custody of her, but it took me almost two years and THOUSANDS of dollars to get to this point. That to me, is just offensive. No one, man or woman, should have to spend their life's savings and two years of their sanity in order to “win” equality; especially when it's been proven that equal parenting is what is healthiest for children.

My Rights As A Father Do Not Care About Your Feelings / Diabolical Rantings of a Single Dad / www.diabolicalrantings.com

In this day and age, when everyone is demanding equality and people are having their lives ruined and businesses destroyed by mere accusations of racism, bigotry, sexism, and discrimination, why are dads left out? Why don't we have organizations speaking out and companies threatening to pull advertising because of discrimination against dads? Because of money. Family court is a billion dollar industry, and way too many people would lose their revenue stream if equal parenting became standard, rather than pitting two parents against each other to fight over their kids, while charging them hundreds of dollars per hour.

This system isn't going to change overnight, or even in the next 13 years, by the time my daughter is an adult. This is the beginning of a slow but powerful movement. I'm fighting for my grandchildren. I'm fighting for my nieces and nephews. I'm fighting for my friends' children who will one day grow up and get married and have children of their own.

My Rights As A Father Do Not Care About Your Feelings / Diabolical Rantings of a Single Dad / www.diabolicalrantings.com

So rather than rolling your eyes every time I post another picture or quote about equal parenting and fathers' rights, get involved. Join an equal parenting organization. Share their posts on your social media. Call your legislators. Write to your local and national media outlets. If you refuse to do any of these simple things, because you don't think parental equality is important, don't you dare even consider coming to me and asking for advice or support when you or your child become the next victim of family court.

Make your voices heard, because we will not see change until people who are not immediately affected by these injustices are as pissed off as the ones who are.

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Disclaimer: Every time I write about equal parenting and fathers' rights, I get immediately bombarded by emails and negative comments, bashing me for acting like this is something that only happens to men. I get it; no one wants to feel like their unique situation is being ignored. That's exactly how I've felt since I was first tossed into the family court system. That being said, I am well aware that there are mothers out there who are victims of this system too. I have several close friends, who are women, who have been alienated from their children by a vengeful ex-husband. This does happen to moms, but the sad truth is that it is much more common for the victim to be the dad. If this bothers you, I assure you that it bothers me too. If it hurts your feelings for me to state this as fact, I don't care.

2 comments:

  1. I applaud you and would gladly stand with you on this issue. This is an extremely important issue that needs to be addressed. However, I am on the opposite end, I was awarded full custody and my ex has supervised visits due to an incident on previous visit to Dad's. My son was 4 at the time. His child support payments were only $370 a month. He made 2 visits and said it wasn't worth the drive. Fast forward 17 years later, my son has not seen or heard from his sperm donor in 17 years. He owes over $80,000 in child support, he's never been in jail and never lost his driver's license despite judge and court orders. I have worked 2 and 3 jobs to make a good life for my child and provide him with a good education. He will graduate from Texas A&M in Commerce this December, not his first choice in colleges but one close to home because he didn't want to make his Mom struggle to help support him in another city.
    I was an elementary teacher and have seen first hand what it does to a child that cannot see a parent.
    I understand and am compassionate about your fight. But, something needs to be done on all levels of the custody/child support system. Keep fighting the good fight there are those of us that are right there with you, after all we are raising our future to be good, compassionate, kind, caring individuals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comments & for taking the time to read my article.

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