My Rights As A Father, Do Not Care About Your Feelings

Yesterday morning, the Friday before Father's Day, I joined men and women across the country in standing for parental equality and fathers' rights at the fourth annual Fatherless Day Equal Parenting Rally. I stood at the state Capitol in Austin, TX with 50+ people; both men and women who are sick of the injustices of the American "family" court system. People who are sick of seeing Fathers treated like second-class citizens, or ATM's.

I spoke to men who have not been "allowed" to see their children in years, despite paying child support and doing everything the court system required. Because while police and the court system will enforce a child support order by threatening jail time and suspension of his drivers license, a mother can refuse to allow her child's Father access to his child during his court-ordered parenting time and the police and District Attorney will refuse to help.

You Have A Spending Problem

Anyone who has ever made a budget knows that if you are spending more money than you're making, you have to figure out how to reduce some of those expenditures. This means listing everything you spend money on in any given month and then deciding which expenses are necessary and which are not. At some point, if you're going to disrupt the pattern of over-spending, you will have to start eliminating some unnecessary expenses and reducing others.

For your average family, this usually means eating out less, going on fewer vacations, not buying new clothes as frequently, and maybe even dropping your cable or satellite TV service. Obviously different families and even the various members of those families would probably prioritize the importance of those expenditures differently. But ultimately, the final decision lies upon the the head of that household; the person who earns the money and then turns around and spends it to keep that roof over their heads. That person has to make a difficult decision which no matter what, will piss off at least one member of their household.

When you aren't the person writing the checks or paying the bills online, cringing as you watch that number in your bank account change from black to red, it's difficult to comprehend the importance of these decisions. It's easy to get used to all of the luxuries you have and begin thinking of them as something you are entitled to.

Reflecting On 2016 And Looking Toward The New Year

As I sit at home this new years eve, I find myself reflecting on the last 12 months of my life. First and foremost, I woke up on the preferable side of the ground this morning, so I suppose I have that to be thankful for. But considering this article would not be possible without these fairly obvious circumstances, you are probably more interested in the other things I have to say.

Last December, I accepted a job with a new company. While I believe that any career change comes with the inevitable doubt of whether you made the right decision to take a new path, the last 12 months has proven to me that it was indeed a great decision for me. I have a great boss, they have great benefits, I truly believe in the product that I am selling, and most importantly, I'm happy.

Maybe This Year Will Be Different; Christmas For An Alienated Dad

As you sit at home with your family on Christmas Eve, watching Miracle on 34^th Street or wrapping your last few presents, there's a father out there who won't get to see his kid tomorrow. Sure, he put up the old Christmas tree given to him by a friend when they no longer needed it; he even put on the lights and ornaments purchased from a neighbor's garage sale. He scraped together what little money he had left after child support and other bills were paid, then skipped enough meals so that he could afford to buy a few small toys for that little boy or girl; just in case their mother had a sudden change in heart and let them come over.

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He begrudgingly picks up the court papers, hastily signed by some judge who never even met him. These papers supposedly granting him the “right” to be a father to his own kid for a few hours every other weekend and on some holidays; essentially robbing him of the right to be a full-time parent. All of this just because his ex decided to leave him for someone else with more earning potential. Re-reading the rambling legal terminology, copied and pasted from some other poor soul's orders, he searches for the heading of the section pertaining to Christmas visitation. Even though he has read it hundreds of times and could probably recite it word for word in his sleep, he reads it one more time to make sure of the time he's supposed to meet his ex tomorrow to get his child.

The Assholes Of Halloween

Having grown up in a fairly conservative, religious home, Halloween was a little different for me than it might have been for most. When you were young, you probably saw Halloween as a night to dress up and go door to door with your friends, hoping to haul home a few pounds of cheap, skull-rotting candy. But for us, it was a family night. It was the night we went out for ice cream, or went to the movie theater, or sometimes just turned the front porch light off and played games or watched a movie at home.

My siblings and I never really understood what we were missing out on. We knew what our friends were doing on that night, but even though we weren't out ringing doorbells and begging for candy, we still looked forward to Halloween. To us, Halloween was always guaranteed to be a fun night to go out and do something special, in an attempt to avoid the trick-or-treaters who were patrolling our neighborhood.