You Have A Spending Problem

Anyone who has ever made a budget knows that if you are spending more money than you're making, you have to figure out how to reduce some of those expenditures. This means listing everything you spend money on in any given month and then deciding which expenses are necessary and which are not. At some point, if you're going to disrupt the pattern of over-spending, you will have to start eliminating some unnecessary expenses and reducing others.

For your average family, this usually means eating out less, going on fewer vacations, not buying new clothes as frequently, and maybe even dropping your cable or satellite TV service. Obviously different families and even the various members of those families would probably prioritize the importance of those expenditures differently. But ultimately, the final decision lies upon the the head of that household; the person who earns the money and then turns around and spends it to keep that roof over their heads. That person has to make a difficult decision which no matter what, will piss off at least one member of their household.

When you aren't the person writing the checks or paying the bills online, cringing as you watch that number in your bank account change from black to red, it's difficult to comprehend the importance of these decisions. It's easy to get used to all of the luxuries you have and begin thinking of them as something you are entitled to.

Maybe This Year Will Be Different; Christmas For An Alienated Dad

As you sit at home with your family on Christmas Eve, watching Miracle on 34^th Street or wrapping your last few presents, there's a father out there who won't get to see his kid tomorrow. Sure, he put up the old Christmas tree given to him by a friend when they no longer needed it; he even put on the lights and ornaments purchased from a neighbor's garage sale. He scraped together what little money he had left after child support and other bills were paid, then skipped enough meals so that he could afford to buy a few small toys for that little boy or girl; just in case their mother had a sudden change in heart and let them come over.

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He begrudgingly picks up the court papers, hastily signed by some judge who never even met him. These papers supposedly granting him the “right” to be a father to his own kid for a few hours every other weekend and on some holidays; essentially robbing him of the right to be a full-time parent. All of this just because his ex decided to leave him for someone else with more earning potential. Re-reading the rambling legal terminology, copied and pasted from some other poor soul's orders, he searches for the heading of the section pertaining to Christmas visitation. Even though he has read it hundreds of times and could probably recite it word for word in his sleep, he reads it one more time to make sure of the time he's supposed to meet his ex tomorrow to get his child.

The Assholes Of Halloween

Having grown up in a fairly conservative, religious home, Halloween was a little different for me than it might have been for most. When you were young, you probably saw Halloween as a night to dress up and go door to door with your friends, hoping to haul home a few pounds of cheap, skull-rotting candy. But for us, it was a family night. It was the night we went out for ice cream, or went to the movie theater, or sometimes just turned the front porch light off and played games or watched a movie at home.

My siblings and I never really understood what we were missing out on. We knew what our friends were doing on that night, but even though we weren't out ringing doorbells and begging for candy, we still looked forward to Halloween. To us, Halloween was always guaranteed to be a fun night to go out and do something special, in an attempt to avoid the trick-or-treaters who were patrolling our neighborhood.

My Trophy; A Letter To A Single Mom

Everyone knows single parents have a tough job, no matter what percentage of the time they have their kids. Raising kids is meant to be a two person job, so whether it's for a few hours, a few days or all the time, taking care of those kiddos' every waking want, need and demand can wear anyone out. Occasionally we all have that especially difficult week of parenting, where we are ready to throw in the towel on life, lock ourselves in our room to sleep just for a few hours and pray that whatever destruction is waiting on us when we emerge, can be repaired.

Unfortunately, whether due to being a responsible parent, or just out of fear of the destruction that would surely be waiting for us on the other side of that door, this voluntary confinement is usually just not an option. So rather than locking ourselves away to recover, we keep going and instead, we let our friendships and romantic relationships suffer the consequences of our sleep deprivation. We start questioning our romantic partner and wondering just why that girlfriend or boyfriend is still with us, since we see them giving so much, but receiving so little from us in return. We let our overly-active and sleep-deprived imagination run wild as we are wiping applesauce off the floor and simultaneously trying to soothe a crying toddler who has already forgotten why he or she is upset. Eventually we start jumping to ridiculous conclusions that usually revolve around our partner only wanting to be with us for some selfish unknown reason.

I have been on both sides of this situation. I have been with women who poured everything they had into our relationship; knowing they would receive much less from me in return. I have also been the one in relationships who was contributing everything, while my partner was giving almost nothing. No matter the situation, sometimes the only way to get your true thoughts and feelings across to that emotionally unavailable partner is to put your words down on paper.

Public Schools Forced To Address The Transgender Restroom Issue Or Risk Losing Federal Funds

As I finished up the first part of my last article, “What Needs To Be Said About The Target Transgender Restroom Debacle” the transgender acceptance debate spread to the public school system, thanks to at least one school which made a similar statement to the one Target made. This was then followed by a directive from President Obama, declaring that all public schools should adopt a similar policy regarding restrooms and locker rooms, or risk losing their federal funds; funds which most public schools rely on just to keep their doors open.

We are talking about students who for the most part, are under the age of 18, and unable to provide any type of legal consent or make legal decisions without the input and approval of their parent or guardian. Personally, I believe that even if a child is questioning their gender in high school, it could be for any number of reasons. It probably isn't going to be until sometime after the age of 18 that they truly figure out whether it is a real issue or simply an insecure phase when they were questioning their identity due to other circumstances.

What A Single Dad Wants In A Girlfriend

Having recently read a similar article describing What A Single Mom Wants In A Boyfriend, I began asking myself exactly what I was looking for in a woman with whom I choose to have a relationship.

I have a 4-year old daughter, although it was not until recently, after a brutal 14-month custody battle, I was finally granted 50/50 custody of her and no longer limited to being an every-other-weekend dad. You might think that change shouldn't have a significant effect on the qualities I look for in a woman, but it absolutely does. Almost any potential mate can handle a child that is not their own coming to visit four days a month. It isn't that big of a disruption in day-to-day life. Hell, once they can eat and get dressed on their own, they can practically babysit themselves, right?