My Trophy; A Letter To A Single Mom

Everyone knows single parents have a tough job, no matter what percentage of the time they have their kids. Raising kids is meant to be a two person job, so whether it's for a few hours, a few days or all the time, taking care of those kiddos' every waking want, need and demand can wear anyone out. Occasionally we all have that especially difficult week of parenting, where we are ready to throw in the towel on life, lock ourselves in our room to sleep just for a few hours and pray that whatever destruction is waiting on us when we emerge, can be repaired.

Unfortunately, whether due to being a responsible parent, or just out of fear of the destruction that would surely be waiting for us on the other side of that door, this voluntary confinement is usually just not an option. So rather than locking ourselves away to recover, we keep going and instead, we let our friendships and romantic relationships suffer the consequences of our sleep deprivation. We start questioning our romantic partner and wondering just why that girlfriend or boyfriend is still with us, since we see them giving so much, but receiving so little from us in return. We let our overly-active and sleep-deprived imagination run wild as we are wiping applesauce off the floor and simultaneously trying to soothe a crying toddler who has already forgotten why he or she is upset. Eventually we start jumping to ridiculous conclusions that usually revolve around our partner only wanting to be with us for some selfish unknown reason.

I have been on both sides of this situation. I have been with women who poured everything they had into our relationship; knowing they would receive much less from me in return. I have also been the one in relationships who was contributing everything, while my partner was giving almost nothing. No matter the situation, sometimes the only way to get your true thoughts and feelings across to that emotionally unavailable partner is to put your words down on paper.

The Inconvenient Truth About Donald Trump's 2005 Comments Toward Women

 

About this time last year, when I first began writing and designing my blog, I did so with the intention of tackling controversial topics that other people might not be eager or able to write about. I wanted to say the things that many others were thinking, but no one else was willing to say. In the beginning, my plan was to not even tell my friends and family that I was the one writing the articles, so that I could protect myself behind a mask of anonymity, without fear of personal attacks or judgment. What I didn't realize at that point however, is that without the support of your friends and family; people who will read your articles even if they suck, it is next to impossible to increase the readership of your blog. So begrudgingly, I revealed to my family and social media friends that I was the author, in order to grow my page.

In some ways, I regret it. I sometimes wish I had remained anonymous so that I could truly speak my mind with no fear of repercussions. But at the same time, I believe it has in some ways helped me personally to grow and face my fears of condemnation. The first time I posted an article that made reference to sex, I must have sat there with my finger hovering above the button on my mouse for 20 minutes, debating whether to hit “publish”, worrying about who would read it and how they might judge me for it. But in the end, I decided that I shouldn't be worried about their opinions as long as I am being honest. Sure, I've offended some people. And out of the 10+ articles I've posted, and almost 3,500 page views, I can count on one hand how many times my family members have actually shared my posts, but it's okay. I didn't start my blog to make friends or to make people feel warm and fuzzy. I created my blog to help initiate the difficult conversations that make people uncomfortable in this world that is offended by everything.