What A Single Dad Wants In A Girlfriend

Having recently read a similar article describing What A Single Mom Wants In A Boyfriend, I began asking myself exactly what I was looking for in a woman with whom I choose to have a relationship.

I have a 4-year old daughter, although it was not until recently, after a brutal 14-month custody battle, I was finally granted 50/50 custody of her and no longer limited to being an every-other-weekend dad. You might think that change shouldn't have a significant effect on the qualities I look for in a woman, but it absolutely does. Almost any potential mate can handle a child that is not their own coming to visit four days a month. It isn't that big of a disruption in day-to-day life. Hell, once they can eat and get dressed on their own, they can practically babysit themselves, right?

I Do It For Clarence

For those of you who might not know me personally, I am a state representative for an organization that advocates for equal parenting and assumed 50/50 custody of children in divorce and custody cases.  I spend a great amount of time helping admin a very active Facebook page, as well as counseling with various parents who are being forced out of their children's lives by bitter exes, false allegations and biased courts.  Even though I know from my own personal experience just how difficult this can be, I don't know if it truly hit me just how seriously it can devastate someone until recently.

I had just finished calling on one of my customers and decided to stop at a restaurant to grab some lunch and use their WI-FI.  As I got out of my car, a middle-aged homeless man approached my car, said his name was Clarence and asked if I could spare some change.  I told him I only had my debit card and no cash.  He asked if I was going inside and if so, if I would at least buy him a cup of coffee.

Guess What, Sweetheart;

You can walk out of your house every morning, paste a smile on your face and act like the world isn't crashing down around you.  You can make everyone think you have it all together, without a care in the world, and nothing but great things happening in your amazing life.  You can post pictures of yourself and your kids, appearing to the world to be a strong independent woman who has never known heartbreak; who has never had to worry about having enough money in your bank account to both pay your bills and keep food on the table for your family.

Law Enforcement, Racism and the Media

You turn on the evening news, and the first thing you see is a “Breaking News” banner emblazoned across the screen, as a young reporter dramatically tells a heart-wrenching story of another white police officer shooting an African American suspect.  The reporter spouts off statistics of law enforcement using lethal force, makes reference to the other non-lethal options officers have at their disposal, and then, gravely looking at you through the television screen, he asks the rhetorical question of how many more of these killings it will take before something is done about this unnecessary violence.

If you take this story at face value, then without waiting on the facts, you immediately start calling this a hate crime and demanding the officer be criminally charged, convicted and locked away, you are part of the problem.